1941-2016
In sickness and health til death do us part..........He's with you now Lord. How do I go on? That was my question the first few days after my Joe died. This blog will give you some insight how I got through the first year. I had to get use to the word widow. I told someone one day When I fill out a form I can check all the boxes..... after 76 years. Single, check, Married, check, Divorce, check, and Widow, check. I had been blogging for 12 1/2 years when Joe died. It was a way to journal our travels. I figured now that my travel days were over there was no reason to continue blogging. But that wasn't in the Lord's plans. The desire to write continued on. But the reason for blogging changed . It was now a way to document the many firsts that happens when the love of your life dies and you journey on as a widow. I changed the name of my blog to The Journey Continues and my prayer was that my sharing would help someone on this journey.
For years I have made it a practice
when I read something that is meaningful to me, that will help me to
grow in my Christian walk I write it in my bible. So today I have
decided to use some of these to help explain how I endured the year
of firsts without Joe. If I knew who wrote the quote, I wrote down
their name. If there is no name it is because it's a quote I heard
from a sermon or on the radio or TV etc. I'm getting better to
remember to when I do this to get the name first before I write the
quote.
1.I am here to be a servant, not to be
served.
Over the years I have learned when I'm sad or feeling down, look for someone who needs help
or just needs someone to listen . It gets my mind off my hurts.
2.Don't measure the size of the mountain,
Talk to the one who can move it – Max Lucado
I Thank Him that he can take care of that
“mountain” He doesn't need my help.
3.Don't doubt in the darkness what you've
learned time and time again in the light. “ John 10:4 is still in
the Bible. Trust and lean on the Lord. His track record is so good. -
Jim Velez
I've had some tough situations in my life. God has brought me safely through every one of those tough times. That has helped me learn to trust Him in all things.
4. Have an attitude of gratitude – M.J.
Ryan
I learned something (yes, I'm still learning....) at camp meeting this summer. In the past when I prayed it was sort of a Lord, gimme, gimme, gimme. Now I begin my prayers thanking Him for all He has done for me in the past, and how He is going to take care of my concerns according to His will in the future. It may not be the way I would have done it....but then I'm not God am I. Yes, it's been a year of heart break, tears and sorrow but He is the healer of broken hearts, He is my comforter. I now have more days of smiles and less tears.
These are some questions I ask myself routinely, |
Am I focusing on my losses or my gains?
Am I staring at a closed door behind
me, or getting ready to walk through a new door in front of me doing what ever it is the Lord has for me to do?
Am I clinging to an ending or preparing
for a new beginning doing what God wants me to do?
Am I complaining about things I can't
change or am I changing the things I can?
|
Rest comes as I live in the
moment...not in the past or the future. With an awareness that God
loves me and wants to heal my anguish. As I let go and simply trust
Him the empty spaces in my soul becomes the place God fills with the
healing power of His presence.
It is
through our suffering, our trials and our wounds that God's Glory is
often revealed.
The
reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over”
the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will
heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.
You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should
you be the same nor would you want to.”-― Elisabeth
Kübler-Ross
Now I begin another year. What are my plans you may ask. I'll do the same thing I do everyday. Wake up thanking the Lord for a new day, I will keep my eyes and ears open for what ever He has in mind for me for that day. There are some potential volunteer opportunities. If and when they become a reality at that time I will blog about them. I do have one goal so far.
When I said I have less tears and more smiles, that doesn't mean I don't miss my Joe. I don't even know how to tell how much I miss him. I'm not lonely but the feeling of alone is unspeakable. I come home after being gone for a few hours, close the door and it is so quiet my ears ring. Sometimes the tears come.... I hear certain songs that were special to him, then the tears come,..but the good part of that is I don't stay stuck there.
All three of my kids and Joe's son and daughter have walked right with me. They each have their "specialty" in helping mom when needed. I have the best friends ever. Widowed friends, friends with families, Pastor friends. No one ever tries to "fix" me. They all understand the tears. Most of them understand (or are learning or tolerating) my goofy sense of humor. I love them all. Best of all, I have a hope, I have a wonderful future in the fact I know I will see Joe and all my loved ones that have gone on before. I smile when I think about the fact that he has seen and is living where we will spend eternity. And that is a comfort in itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl
Joe bought me a Ukulele a couple years ago and shortly after that he was diagnosed with cancer. With his surgery and chemo, the Ukulele stayed in it's case. I read music and with all kinds of You Tube Tutorials I plan on teaching myself how to play. Other than that I plan on driving to Lynden, Washington next Spring or Summer to visit my sister in law. (Don't give up Blanche, I'll get there eventually) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
All three of my kids and Joe's son and daughter have walked right with me. They each have their "specialty" in helping mom when needed. I have the best friends ever. Widowed friends, friends with families, Pastor friends. No one ever tries to "fix" me. They all understand the tears. Most of them understand (or are learning or tolerating) my goofy sense of humor. I love them all. Best of all, I have a hope, I have a wonderful future in the fact I know I will see Joe and all my loved ones that have gone on before. I smile when I think about the fact that he has seen and is living where we will spend eternity. And that is a comfort in itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD" Psalm 27:13-14
He truly is Faithful
~~~~~~~~~~~~I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl