In my profile, I said I wanted to continue my blog for awhile, documenting the many firsts that happens when the love of your life dies and you journey on as a widow. Monday I wanted to go up to Willamette National Cemetery where Joe is buried so I could take some pictures of how beautiful it is for Memorial Day. Every grave has a flag on it.
|After we checked out the books, we went for a short walk around the pond that is behind the library.|
Sometimes, for me, special activities, or dates will come at me when I least expect it. And when when it comes three and four times in the same week it "kinda knocks the wind out of me" This week it was going to the Cemetery Saturday morning at 7:15 A.M. so I could avoid the mass of people that would be there a few hours later. I was only there long enough to take pictures of the vastness and beauty of graves with flags on it. The tears flowed like a river as I left.
Saturday night, actually Sunday morning at 2:00 AM I woke up with a cramp that started in my toe and went to my calf (charlie horse)...but it didn't stop there. It proceeded to the large muscle in my upper leg. The pain was so intense it made me physically sick. I've dealt with charlie horses for years but never as severe as this. I share this as another first. I'm alone, I'm sick, I didn't know what to do So I called my son, he called 911 and he got here shortly after the ambulance did. The staff at the hospital did all the routine things, IV, blood work, monitoring vitals, as the pain subsided the blood pressure came back to normal and so did the heart rate and in a couple of hours sent me home. What did I learn out of this? I already knew it but needed to be reminded once again. I'm not alone. The Lord was right there with me, along with family and friends.
|Sitting in my "Secret Garden" this evening I was thinking about a couple of other things that are happening in the next few days. If you are a tennis fan you know The Roland Garros Tennis Tournament is happening. Joe didn't play much tennis after he discovered Pickle Ball but he would never miss one of the Big Five Tournaments. And that particular tournament would remind me our 13th wedding anniversary would be a few days away.... June 4th. A funny memory to me will always be while we were on our honeymoon, one particular morning he got breakfast in bed.... because the tennis match was on and he didn't want to miss that particular game because his two favorite players were against each other. So I went down to the restaurant, and brought our breakfast back upstairs. (there was no room service.) This next weekend will be special also because Joe's son and daughter in law are coming to visit. We will go to the cemetery so Rob can see where exactly his dad is buried and then we are going to get to eat at Cracker Barrel....new to the Portland, Oregon area.|
Happy occasions such as weddings, receptions, news of another new great grandchild on the way, mixed with a holiday that I didn't handle as well as I thought I would. But it is what it is. I'm doing it day by day. I am blessed I have a sister, sister in law and best friend who are widows, that love and pray for me and encourage me helping me to adjust to the new normal. I have a church family that has surrounded and enveloped me with their love. I love to write but doing this blog, being transparent, for me is not easy. In fact is down right hard! But my prayer is that my sharing will help someone who is on this journey too. Bye for now
I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl
Your Betty Girl