I sit here tonight my Joe, working on my blog and thinking about the last three months since you went to live in your new heavenly home. I can't even imagine what it must be like, how beautiful it must be. But I CAN tell you there is no words to describe the pain and loneliness of you not being here with me. I try to keep busy during the day and that helps. The nights are the worst. People say, and I've said it too "that time heals".... but it seems like that "time" will never get here. I know I can't get around it. I have to walk through it. Now that the snow is gone I can get out of the house. This was a week full of joyful news regarding some of our grand kiddos....adults now.
|Meet Lamby. In between snow storms, I was able to get to the Post Office.There was so much mail in my little box. Among the mail was a familiar yellow slip indicating there was a package... or more mail they couldn't get in my box. So I went to the window and it was a box. I brought every thing home and laid it on the counter, the package still unopened. There was more errands to run. It had been a tough day. Somehow, my house key fell off my key ring. GONE. If that wasn't enough when I got the mail there was a huge package from medical records. Dates I needed for tax purposes but a huge painful reminder all the tests, surgeries, medicines....didn't work. He died. Tears and rain doesn't make for safe driving but I couldn't stop them. I was back in the house by 5 and I opened my package. I didn't know who it was from. All it said was Amazon. But the person reading this blog does. I've all ready communicated with that person. I thanked them for their sensitivity to the nudging of the Holy Spirit in giving me that sweet little lamb. Again God's timing is perfect. When you hold it's little paws. It recites the whole 23rd Psalm.|
"Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death."....for 75 years I've always thought that was for the person dying. Holding and listening to my precious little lamb, I realized I walked through the valley of the shadow of death watching my Joe die little by little over the year. But the Lord was with me every step of the way. I encourage any of you who are going through your own difficult valley, take that chapter and personalize it. Where ever there is a personal pronoun put your name...Joe's right. I am going to be O.K. It's just a long journey but I'll get there and so will you.
PS. Guess what? After replacing the lost key and having a couple spares cut and put in a safe place.... I lifted a bag I keep in the back of my car and there was the lone, lost key. Apparently it had pulled off the key holder and stuck to the bottom of the bag and when I lifted the bag it fell on to the seat.