Wednesday, December 14, 2016

No Delete Button

My Joe. I had a nice visit with a friend of ours today. You know me and my tears. Well I was reminded that I have been under a lot of stress this year and I learned that stress releases a toxin in the body that tears can heal. I was also reminded that there isn't a delete button that can take away images in my mind while you were so sick that makes me sad. But what can counter act those images are memories of the 12 plus years of happiness we had. When the tears come now I understand they are part of the grief process and they are OK. And I'll  try to focus on those sweet memories.
A wonderful thing happened to me today.  A couple of days ago I went out to start the motor home and the battery was "deader than a door nail".  More frustration and stress. So today I called AAA thinking because the battery was under warranty they could just come bring me a new battery. WRONG   On a good day maybe it is but it is very snowy, cold, and icy and getting a battery replaced was below  the bottom of the priority list with AAA today.  They were going to send out a tow truck to do a jump start and I told them to just forget it. Well somehow the tow truck driver didn't get the message from dispatch and he showed up. He suggested that even though the battery was dead he would like to put his little blue box to work to see if there were any other issues.  While he was hooking it up, he said "hey, this wire is loose"  I asked him if that would have caused the battery to be dead and he told me probably about a 98 percent  chance.  So he tightened it up, I jumped in the truck, turned the key and VOILA!!!! It started right up. The battery wasn't dead after all.  So I said to my self "Self, why don't you try to start the generator while the tow truck driver is here even though that isn't really part of his job description. He was just so nice and so I primed it (aren't you proud of me for remembering that?) It groaned and moaned for a few tries and then it just started right up too.  Well now. That is going to go on my THANKFUL list.
I'm also thankful that I can enjoy the beauty of the snow from a nice warm and cozy apartment, the cupboards are full and so is the fridge, plenty of water to drink and juices too.
Honey I'm so thankful for our friends. We have so many. I talked to your cousin Larry tonight. Yes, the steel guitar made it to his house in Minnesota yesterday. We had such a nice visit. He wanted me to know one of his very special memories of you as kids were you got a new bike and you gave him your old one. He never forgot that act of kindness. My basket of cards is full and running over with family and friends thoughtful memories of you. My memories of your love for me is what is going to get me through this. Yes, the tears are here again because I am missing you but now I know those tears are healing tears too.

I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl