Saturday, December 10, 2016

Christmas Just Isn't The Same This Year

Hi Honey, I'm trying so hard. But Christmas just isn't the same without you. Kelly bought me a "just my size" Christmas tree for your stand but just looking at our ornaments makes me cry. Remember our little tree we sat on the dash of the Rexhall Aerbus and we'd let your mom decorate it? So many memories in our 12 years. So I put the nativity on the table along with two candles I found at BiMart.  I will spend Christmas and New Years with Jan. Next year, I will put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving.

About 1:30 Friday Morning the living  area went from this...

to this. I thought I would never get that last box unpacked and broke down but it's all done now.  Which presents another issue. Now that everything is done and I'm settled in my new, cozy, sweet little apartment, It's starting to sink in. You aren't here, you are gone from me in your physical body for ever. What gets me through those almost unbearable times is knowing I will be reunited with you in heaven one day for eternity. But for now, especially in the evenings when it's quiet, there are so many tears and sobs from my broken heart. Thank you for how you made our home our castle. You made it beautiful with your expertise in painting the inside and having the kitchen and bathroom remodeled and the carport and the front steps redone. Because of all of this the house sold for top dollar. It just sold so fast. The realtor didn't even get it listed on the internet.It was just like when you bought it. A lady drove by, stopped and looked and offered cash. I counter offered and she accepted it. You were right honey when you put your arm around me as I layed on your shoulder that day. You were so weak but you whispered in my ear, "it will be ok" and it will be. When the Lord took you to live with Him, He didn't abandon me but  I miss you so much. I miss our winter routine in the desert. In the mornings you would go play pickleball and  horseshoes and then in the afternoon we would hop in the car and "go". Sometimes it was just to the grocery store or laundry but often it was sight seeing places we loved or places we would go for the first time and come to love. The wheels were always turning.Behind the wheel was your happy place and I loved your being happy. Now the wheels only turn for me to go to the Post Office or to the grocery store and church. I still don't enjoy driving. I'm trying to remember everything you taught me like don't follow to close, don't turn my corners so wide, pay attention to the road not the phone or radio. I'm becoming more confident thanks to you but I'll never love driving like you did.

I also remembered your answer to me when I asked you what kind of tires to buy when snow and ice came. You said "None Just stay home" So home I stayed.

First it snowed, then came the freezing rain.

The car is covered in ice.

The gravel driveway covered in ice

A winter wonderland

Our poor little truck house wishes someone would buy her and take her to the desert where she wouldn't have to put up with these icicles. 

Mike and Patty and Heather came for a visit. Can you tell by how they are dressed that it was very, very cold?  

While they were here Heather and Mike put my very large Rubbermaid Deck Box together. Not only is our beautiful 16 year old granddaughter  talented in art and music but she knows what to do with a screw driver and hammer with a little direction from dad.
This box is 65" x 27" x 25". It holds the pillows for my glider and four patio chairs, four folding chairs that I didn't have room for inside, and two bleacher seats. After the box was finished, Patty, Mike and I laid out my family pictures how I wanted them on the wall then Mike hung them. After that, Heather and him hooked up my little tower speaker to the TV. Before they left, he took measurements of my desk to build me a couple of book shelves.

Well my love, it's almost midnight and tomorrow is Sunday School and Church. "I Can Only Imagine" what worship is like for you.* 

I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl