Sunday, December 4, 2016

I'm All Moved In






Dear Joe,
In the time we had together before you died we talked a lot about how life would be without you. You kept reassuring me I would be ok. We talked about me selling the house. So a couple of weeks after you were gone Tim introduced me to a realtor friend he knew and she came to the house and wrote up a contract. Before she could finish it a lady she had been showing other houses to stopped by and took a look and  offered a cash amount, I counter offered and she accepted. It closed on the 23rd of November and she took possession December 1st. It didn't leave me a whole lot of time to pack up. Jan came down and helped me for a few days and Kelly and Rob and families came Thanksgiving and we sorted and sorted and threw away and gave away...... I have to tell you honey, if there was ever a trophy for one who could put so much stuff in a shed and workshop and have it look as organized as yours was, you would have won that trophy hands down without a doubt.

Moving from a two bedroom two bath double wide mobile home into a studio apartment has it's challenges but I'm getting it done.
Joe and Karin, our friends of more than 40 years, were at the house at 8:15 AM  and he took me to U Haul to pick up the truck. Not only did he help load and unload but he drove the truck.

My new church family from Happy Valley Evangelical Church answered the call to help me move. They arrived at the house in a procession. Donuts and coffee were the first order of the day. In all there were 13 men and three women. The house was emptied in about an hour and a half. I don't know what I would have done without David. He has helped me keep it together when I I wanted to just give up. Reminding me with his quiet, gentle voice that it will be ok, letting me cry and giving me hugs. Mike, Kelly, Rob and Sheila check on me. You would be proud of all of them. Mike is my builder and fixer. Kelly is my listener, and Rob and Sheila check on me often. Good adult kids we have. 



Some of the folks helped on the Milwaukie end to load and others arrived at my new home in Damascus to help unload. 

This sign greeted me when I opened the door to my new home. Thank you Kim W. It doesn't take much to bring the tears out. Seeing this sign the tears were there along with smiles.

After a few days of unpacking and sorting, the kitchen is done.
My fireplace has a little heater in it. So I stay nice and warm. (It is suppose to be in the 30's here this week so we'll see) 

Remember my sweet little abode is a studio apartment. Thus you see the couch and the bed. It works for me. I also have a huge walk in closet behind the wall by the bed. 

I still have boxes to unpack but I am slowly making progress.

~~~~~~~~~~~
So my love, here I am. I'm not alone, but I'm lonely. I miss you more than all those words you said I had can tell you. I cry a lot. My heart aches because it's broken. I wonder sometimes if it will ever heal. I'm doing my best to be brave. Church is hard, especially taking communion without you by my side. Today though, I stayed until after the benediction instead of leaving while the last song was being sung to avoid visiting with the people.  I actually stayed a few extra minutes visiting with a new friend.
This past Thursday Ruthie and I went to the Victorian Country Christmas at the fairgrounds in Puyallup.Billy and the Hillbillys performed there again this  year.  It was as good or better than the times you and I went in the past. The living nativity was the best ever. We stayed overnight at Jan's and came back home Friday Morning.

Tonight David, Jennifer and the little boys picked me and Ruthie up and we went to Portland's Christmas Celebration at Portland Christian Center on Dosh Rd. Both these Christmas Celebrations were beautiful but bitter sweet because you weren't there to enjoy them with me.  You loved the music especially the trombones.

I guess there has to be a first before there can be a 2nd. So I got my train ticket yesterday to go be with Jan for Christmas. Christmas without you will never be the same again. But the memories I will have about Christmas with you, especially in the desert will always be in my heart.


I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl



8 comments:

  1. So nice that things are coming together for you and you had so many helping hands.

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  2. What a beautiful post, dear Betty. And, what a difficult time for you - my prayers are with you in this difficult time. I too am going through a little difficult time. I've started to have panic attacks and have decided I need to go home to California to try to get things solved. I've become very uncomfortable in Antigua, for no real reason, simply psychological but I need to do something about it. I'm starting to do all the work to get the dog and the cat back to California, a paperwork and logistics nightmare I don't feel like facing with this anxiety. But, I know it's the right decision for me at this time. I think of you everyday and pray that your transition will go as smoothly as possible. It seems you have a lot of support; accept their help as they want to give it. Allow yourself your sadness and insecurities and know that God is with you, even when it seems pretty dark. You have always been a dear friend to me and everyone; now take friendship and help from those who are grateful to have you in their lives.

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  3. Betty, in all your grief and sorrow you are blessed with so many good friends. Have a peaceful Christmas!

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  4. Wow Betty. I'm tired just reading your story. You have had so many life changes...please take care of yourself!!!! You have done a beautiful job of transitioning your blog. You are a great writer and I can feel how much you miss Joe. Rest up and let your soul catch up with your changes!

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  5. I know how sad you must be, but I think that's a reflection of the love you had for Joe. Those are tears of love!! I'm glad you are surrounded by friends and family and they have made your move easier.

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  6. Kathy and I actually met in Bereavement Counselling and often talk about how the Second Christmas without our late spouses was actually harder than the first. Supportive family and friends will help you along. The pain will ease, the guilt will go away but the Love and Memories will remain.
    You will be surprised how strong you are even though Joe isn't by your side he is watching over you along with the Lord.
    Be Safe and Enjoy!

    It's about time.

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  7. I liked how you wrote your post Betty and I sat awhile thinking of how you are feeling.

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